Let’s get one thing out of the way first.

I’ve watched 31 seasons of Survivor- most of them twice. I’ve seen Skupin fall into the fire, Penner sustain a puncture wound to the knee, James cut up his finger, and Russell Swan nearly cross over to the lighter side in Samoa. I’ve never seen anything as disturbing as what I saw last night.

Jennifer- girl- when a bug is burrowing itself into your ear, is it not time to call for medical? Mad respect goes out to this castaway for persevering through an entire night while a bug dug its way into her brain and her ear had visible blood seeping out from inside. Prior to this extremely disturbing scene, I would not turn down the opportunity to be cast on Survivor… I can do rain, I can do hunger, I can do people… but there is no way I am tolerating bugs in my ear.

I hope that said bug didn’t lay a massive amount of eggs in Jennifer’s ear. Since this was filmed a year ago and we haven’t heard anything, I am going to assume that she is fine.

Moving on…

SURVIVOR IS BACK!

And, it is back with a bang.

Last night’s episode was action-packed and I hope this first episode will be a predictor of the season to come. The characters are dynamic, there is a healthy blend of crazy, and the first tribal ended in a tie vote with Kyle Jason actually changing his vote at Tribal Council which is pretty much unheard of in a first tribal. If BBB2 is anything like BBB1 Cagayan, then we are in for a treat and I could not be more amped!

Player rankings at this stage of the game is more difficult. Aside from character bios and videos and this first episode, I do not know much about the castaways. I am going to rank the players by tribe until we get to the merge.

* I don’t read spoilers

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Pre-Merge Boot Order:

1. Darnell Hamilton (To Tangsvr32_cast_800x1000_darnellhamilton

Anyone else surprised that Darnell went first? Based on the pre-season hype of King Darnell, I surely thought he would be in the game longer. Clearly his now infamous #AquaDump (um, gross) and his inability to hold on to the goggles during Challenge Numero Uno were the nails in his coffin. Not sure this was a good move by Brawn, but what is done is done and I am moving on.

To Tang Tribe Rankings (Brawn)

5. Alecia Holden svr32_cast_800x1000_aleciaholden

Alecia is very clearly on the wrong tribe. I’m not sure she would fit on any of the tribes at this point. Girl does nothing. She is an excellent observer of other people doing things… I’m ranking her last on this tribe- but hey, she is a Mental Giant, so maybe I’m wrong?

4. Cydney Gillon svr32_cast_800x1000_cydneygillon

No issues with Cydney, but she seemed to be aligned with Darnell. Now that he is gone, it isn’t looking too promising for her. But- we are only 3 days into the game, she could rally and go far. One thing is for sure, she can beat up her entire tribe if she wants, and that includes NBA man Scot Pollard.

3. Jennifer Lanzetti svr32_cast_800x1000_jenniferlanzetti

She SURVIVED a BUG burrowing into her BRAIN! She can do anything! 36 more days is easy peasy when you aren’t listening to a million legs walking around your ear drum! Woman is amazing… but she seems to be stuck amongst a tribe of bros determined to be in a bro alliance. 

2. Scot Pollard svr32_cast_800x1000_scotpollard

I love that he owned his past. We never see famous people honest about their identity from the get-go in Survivor. I think Scot will go far, especially since he seems tight with Kyle. As long as his size doesn’t lead to a dehydrated med evac, this man is in great shape.

1. Kyle Jason svr32_cast_800x1000_kylejason

Probst is already referring to this guy by his last name. Is he that good?!? The man idolizes Russell Hantz, he isn’t afraid of big moves, and he is already running this tribe. Will his last minute switch hurt him with Scot and Jennifer? Nah…

Chan Loh Tribe Rankings (Brains)

6. Debbie Wanner svr32_cast_800x1000_debbiewanner

The new coach! Debbie has a rocking body for an ‘old’ lady, the best swim suit in the world, and a different job title every time her name is flashed on the screen! But she is clearly annoying her tribe. Brains is already aligning by age, and this isn’t good for Debbie as she in grouped in with Joe as being ‘old’. Hopefully she can get her fellow tribe members to “lay down” for her, similar to a puzzle…

5. Joseph Del Campo svr32_cast_800x1000_josephdelcampo

I love this man. Anyone that looks like that at 72 years old deserves mad respect. Unfortunately, he has the old factor working against him, especially on a tribe that is already all about the young :(.

4. Aubry Bracco svr32_cast_800x1000_aubrybraco

Girl has already had a breakdown. The only reason I didn’t pick her 6th is because she has the youth factor on her side. She might be able to rally, but I’m not sure if her tribe will want to stick with her after her mental collapse.

3. Neal Gottlieb svr32_cast_800x1000_nealgottlieb

I dunno, man is wearing ice cream pants and considers himself in the “young” crowd. Something about Neal is rubbing me the wrong way.

2. Peter Baggenstos svr32_cast_800x1000_peterbaggenstos

Peter is clearly a smart guy and I can see him going far in this game. He is on the correct side of numbers as of now and may actually be a Mental Giant, unlike our gal pal Alecia. But will he freak out if he is continually receiving the Obama reference? Only time will tell!

1.Liz Markham svr32_cast_800x1000_elisabethmarkham

Liz is level-headed, calm, and very intelligent. These are all wonderful factors to have in Survivor. I’m cheering for Liz to make it all the way.

Gondol Tribe Rankins (Beauty)

6. Julia Sokolowski svr32_cast_800x1000_juliasokolowski

This beauty tribe is STACKED! At this point, I would definitely say this is the most likable tribe- even with our BB throwback Beast Mode Cowboy! That being said, it was difficult to rank this tribe. Julia is coming in 6th simply based off age. The girl is fresh out of high school, even stating that just months prior to Survivor she was sitting at a desk listening to a teacher drone on and on in front of the chalkboard. This game could get really difficult for her, and if beauty loses a challenge, she might be seen as weak and the first to go. That being said, I hope I am wrong and I hope she goes far!

5. Tai Trang svr32_cast_800x1000_taitrang

I almost ranked him last because of his blunder with the early and aggressive idol search. And the tree uprooting after his claim that he loves all living things. However, previews make it seem like Tai is going to make his way into the ‘in’ crowd. Tai is likable that I hope he sticks around for the long haul. Anyone else having Yau Man flashbacks?

4. Michele Fitzgerald svr32_cast_800x1000_michelefitzgerald

Don’t even remember Michele that well from this episode. She’s in the numbers though, so let’s rank her in the middle of the pack.

3. Caleb Reynolds svr32_cast_800x1000_calebreynolds

As a huge Big Brother fan, I am happy to see another BB player on Survivor, even if it is Caleb. Sure, Caleb gave off a creepy factor when he was annoyingly obsessed with Amber, but the dude seems super chill on Survivor. And-  Caleb has a big heart. He demonstrated that in BB and he is demonstrating that now in Survivor. 

2. Nick Maiorano svr32_cast_800x1000_nickmaiorano

I am totally turned off by this guy. He is arrogant and too strategic. I think he can run the tribe early, but if he does make it post-merge, there is going to be a huge target on his back.

1. Anna Khait svr32_cast_800x1000_annakhait

Anna is good-looking and intelligent which could be a great combination for Survivor. I’m excited to see how Anna incorporates her Poker-player bluff and deception into this game.

Winner Pick

If I had to pick a winner based off of Episode 1, I would go with Kyle Jason. I think this guy can deceive, scramble, and strategize with the best of them.

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There you have it folks, the first episode of Survivor 32 in the books! Check back next week for more Recaps and Rankings. What could Kaoh Rong?

Until next time,

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